THE ADVENTURES IN UNPAID INTERNING - WORKING TITLE.

  Salutations(Salutations? Really?) and Greetings from my end of the post-covid/ post-#ENDSARS saga. Are we all well? Did you loot enough palliative to detty yourself this December or are you one of those Twitter revolutionaries watching the sitcom that is our nation, Nigeria get sequels after sequels after sequels of pure comedy gold? You know, I found it humorous that the numerous looting, revolts, killings, and political contradictions happened on a month of supposed joy and solidarity in recognition of our 60 years freedom from...what exactly? Because when you look at how shit crazy the country has been over the past decades: with the corruption, fuel hikes, strikes, inflations, brutalities(physical and political), you'll come to realize that the only thing we're actually "free" from is white people(not just any white people, British people!) and... Oh shit! I'm digressing! No, No, No! I did not come back to the blogosphere to talk about my country again. I al...

The streets have never been greener with independence day fever. The flashing spectrum of white and green comes into view in all directions. You see it on store banners next to their independence month slash prices, you see on lamp posts, cell masts, and anything that can be tied with lengthy yards of cloth. You see it on the clothes of the young children off in the direction of the nearest independence day party, pretentiously sponsored by state governments in an attempt to bolster camaraderie among the younger generation, their so-called "Future Leaders". It's all fun and cheers and horseback rides and bouncy castle joy until the gift sharing- I mean, hunger games start and the struggle for who gets a present begin(presents that seem to finish even before the fights commence). Unfortunately for me, the odds have never been in my favour.  " Nigeria @60! " The banners would read today. " Happy Independence Day ," said one outraged citizen there. Why is...

     For about a month or two now, Beyoncé's Black is King "movie-album," which served as a visual representation to her 2019 Lion King album: The Gift has been released. It comprises choreographed dance clips, scenes re-telling the Lion King story but in live-action-to-the-live-action and had voice messages from people talking about what it meant to be black. Now, I'm not reviewing the album  (You can get those from my friend Andrea's blog. His album reviews are dope, and he covers many genres, so if you know any album you're skeptical about listening to, he's your guy for the details. Yes, He's a He) I only want to talk about the one song I sincerely enjoyed watching(No! Not Brown Skin Girl)      In all honesty(and I beat my chest about it), I wasn't a fan of both the Lion King album or the movie. I had felt two emotions: Ennui, for the one too many live-action adaptations to some great classics that Disney had been peddling these d...

     You are tall. Granted. However your size distracts people from your almost dominating height( scoffs ,  not that dominating)      You'd wish you were taller. But that would need you to put a bit of effort into your physical appearance, and you just don't give a damn.       And even when you do try to keep fit - 1km or 2km runs, light push-ups and sit-ups- you begin this ritual of staring at your half-naked self in the mirror after every 'uncompleted' work out.        On the days you do notice changes, you feel a deep sense of accomplishment. You raise your wobbly shoulders and suck in your tummy, almost willing the abs to show( They do not ).      Biceps are subtly bulging, chest getting pumped, and stomach not showing in your tight T-shirts. But everything changes when you drink water( LMAO )      It vexes you when people see your face and instantly believe you have a wife and ...

It was corn season and on one fateful evening, my mother (A/N: This woman really needs to start paying me for making her my muse in most of my articles) decided to go out in search of roasted corn and pear or ubé in our dialect. After driving through various streets- seeing as that was where most vendors took up shop as a result of the lockdown of the markets in the state- we came across an elderly woman who took up a small space in front of an electronics/furniture shop. She really didn't stick out like the other sellers nearby but merely looking at her, you could tell that her roasted corn would be nice and without much surprise they were. I love roasted corn, but I always wondered what made them so sweet when the process only involved setting raw corn on a charcoal stove and giving it time to roast. On eating the corn, my mother made an observation, that they reason, why the old lady's corn was tasty, was that she soaked the raw corns in a bowl of saltwater befor...

       I know a woman. She drives a big red truck. Whenever she takes the truck out for a drive, no matter where she goes, people tend to look at her. Some stare out of awe from the beauty and sheer size of the machine. Some stare out of jealousy as they wish to be in the driver's seat of this vehicle. Some stare out of some preconceived notion that a woman should not be driving such a magnificent car. Each reason comes with its own distinct stare and I laugh anytime I see these things because they don't know the struggles that came before the acquisition of such a splendid ride so they only judge by what they see on the surface - A woman driving a big red truck.      There's nothing special in women driving. Honestly. They still have to obey traffic laws, they still need to pay tolling bills, they still check all their mirrors before backing out of the driveway and they still need to update their license every now and then. So what's the big deal abou...