NOT MY CARTOON NETWORK!!!😐

      Johnny Bravo, Ed, Edd and Eddy, Dexter's Laboratory, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Powerpuff Girls(Old), Generator Rex, Kids Next Door(KND), Scooby-Doo(Old plus the Mystery Incorporated storyline), Time Squad, Symbionic Titans, Redakai: Conquer The Kairu, Thundercats(NOT ROAR!), Megas XLR, Samurai Jack, Bakugan Battle Brawlers and many many more. I bet you just had a wonderful dose of nostalgia as you read through my shortlist of old Cartoon Network shows. These were the shows that made my childhood and adolescent years mystifying. I was never an outdoor child as my waking moments were spent either in school or in front of the TV screen filling up my developing brain with different iconic, and comedic, scenes from my favorite shows(A/N: which explains a lot as to why I'm bad at socializing to an extent). Bottom line is, these shows made me the isolated and cartoonish human that many people have come to know and partially love - I think. Everybody who is a human being grew up watching cartoons. Even grown-ups were into it back then- I remember days my mother and I would sit down to the mischief and mayhems that Tom and Jerry would always get into and just revel in those bonding moments with her. Now years went by, and a younger brother that came with it, and I thought that the cartoons of my childhood would be around to help guide him in aspects of his life that I may be found wanting as a result of the thousands of kilometers my school is located but, unfortunately, the shows that come up these days are simply horrible parodies of my once beloved friend and station, Cartoon Network.

      You know that horrifying feeling you get when you see something or someone you once had so much high respect for just start disappointing you little by little until you can't even recognize who or what they are anymore? That's the same horrified look I get any time Cartoon Network - or "CN" as the cool kids are calling it these days - gets "accidentally" turned on for a whole day(A/N: And by accidentally, I mean one of the rare and unexpected times my mother decides to let us have a day of happiness instead subjecting us to the gruesome truths being spat at us from every damn news channel). Cartoon Network went from producing shows with amazing characters, epic action fight scenes, wholesome dark or light comedy, and badass storytelling to slapstick baseless humor with no character development or escalating plot lines whatsoever all in the name of kid's entertainment. WTF?!. What dynamic were they going for? What demographic were they trying to appeal to? Youngsters or retards - Because that's how I feel anytime I see shows like Uncle Grandpa taking over slots where epic shows like Ben 10 or Generator Rex used to air. Like my brain cells die every time I hear that omnipotent old geezer says the words: Good morning. And don't get me started on the reboots. Those damn reboots. 

     Reboots are used as a means of retelling an old story but in a new format with little or no regard for its predecessors. With this in mind, Reboots are supposed to be dope. They're supposed to bring a whole new dynamic into play. For example, we all grew up watching Ben 10. We loved the show. We sang as the opening theme song played along(A/N: A song I remember till this very day). We always dreamed of one day discovering a meteor in our backyard and finding a powerful watch that can let us transform into different aliens with cool abilities. This show gave me my first experience with the saga that were Cartoon Network reboots; Going from Ben 10 to Ben 10: Alien Force to Ben 10 Ultimate Aliens to Ben 10: Omniverse to their latest, and horrible, installation: Ben 10. I believe - others might have their own opinions, but this is not their blog - that Cartoon Network began its flop from the Ben 10: Omniverse reboot. Now don't get me wrong, it was a nice reboot and I liked it. It just had so many inconsistencies and plot conveniences(especially when it came to time travel paradoxes) that made me a bit concerned about the direction the show was going. Then they had to kill all hope I had about the show's redemption by producing a wack reboot of the original Ben 10 series. 

    Reboots are supposed to be like taking an old shoe and polishing it up with a new coat of shoe polish but no matter how much shoe polish you use it's still an old shoe and there are things in that shoe that you just can't replace either with shoe polish or fixing. For example; one recurring plot that runs in the franchise is how Max Tennyson, who is grandfather to both Ben and Gwen Tennyson, is or was a member of the Intergalactic "Police" Service known as The Plumbers but in their latest installment, they are no mention of the Plumbers and Grandpa is as clueless about the watch as Ben is. He doesn't even know who Vilgax is! The entire dynamic just changed and you see this new Ben who is ever so cocky(which was one plot mechanism they decided to leave behind) navigating the watch with zero background knowledge to help him out and a Grandpa who is only good for his good advice and horrible taste in food(which is another plot mechanism they thought was okay to leave behind). So that's one example of a reboot gone...well I don't even know where it's going, to be honest. Other examples of reboots going "elsewhere" are shows Teen Titans Go[which is a complete mockery of the powerhouse that is DC (A/N: These niggas sing about booty shaking, are incompetent in battles and take normal mundane ideas and logics completely out of context)] and recently they just aired a new show called Thundercats Roar! As if the name would make it sound cooler but NO! It was a sneaky attempt to get us to watch yet another IQ depleting series(A/N: LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MUM RA!...MUM RA!!) I was appalled. And another thing. What's with the ten minutes runtime they've started incorporating in their new shows? Less runtime means more episodes or in my opinion: Less runtime means more episodes of pure BS. It's for these reasons I turn to anime. You get whatever you want in an anime be it humor, action, sitcoms, anything. (A/N: They've even started showing a few animes on Cartoon Network as well. Why? I don't know) 

     Not all new shows are bad. I've personally watched a few good ones that, even though they can't compare to the past, are still quite interesting to some extent. Shows like Steven Universe (A/N: A show about gender-fluid space rocks. Yes! they went there. It's not as bad as it sounds. Trust me), We Bare Bears(A/N: Try saying that 5 times fast), The Amazing World of Gumball(A/N: It surprises me how much I actually love this show), Regular Show(A/N: Which is anything but regular) and Adventure Time(Sounds like a show about guys going on adventures together but the underlying subtexts each episode has is truly mind-blowing). Each one of the aforementioned series was like Cartoon Network's last attempt at producing shows that make you not only watch it and forget them afterward but to really meditate on the underlying messages they wanted to provide. (A/N: Not Gumball though. That was is just pure comedy. Unless you think the subtext on the show is on how deadbeat a father could be and how scary a mother could be. Whatever you want to believe). 

It's not like I'm against good clean family cartoons for kids. I mean we did grow up watching Barney and Friends(A/N: Which now that you think about it; keeping a bunch of kids in an enclosed compound with a guy in a big purple dinosaur suit raises a lot of questions - Especially when he comes over with his "friends"). My point is that, if they want to start making toddler shows for kids, they should at least make a new channel for it. Like they did with Boomerang back then. When I first discovered the station I kept calling it, Cartoon Network's "dumping ground" seeing as old shows from ancient Cartoon Network times were played there. (A/N: Now I don't know who's dumping what seeing as they're also producing trash). They should also take a clue from Nickelodeon, who divided their big network into Nickelodeon proper for their current, partially trashy, new shows, Nick Jnr for kid shows(STRICTLY) and Nick Toons for their old shows of back then. Even Disney is doing the same with Disney proper, Disney XD, and Disney Jnr(A/N: The names speak for themselves).

      

      All I've said - In this over a thousand worded essay - is that Cartoon Network's dynamic has drastically changed over the past decade and I don't know what direction it's heading to. There are times my younger brother would change the channel over to Cartoon and I get so mad at him just for subjecting himself to the horrors of seeing a fruit and vegetable sing and dance about everything(A/N: Whatever you do, don't watch Apple and Onion! Spray Holy Water on any screen you see that atrocity!).And it's not like there is a better cartoon channel to switch over to on account of our DSTV Family Bouquet. Not like this angry fan mail would see the eyes of the Executives of Time Warner but at least you guys should agree with me to some extent. 

If not, what do you think? Give your own comments on the matter and tell your own horrifying experience about the New CN 52 reboots(A/N: If you know, you know)